Lilac Love
by Pandamett
Summary: So this is a fan fiction about Frank Iero and Mikey Way (mainly) from My Chemical Romance. I have this on deviantART as well in case you want a link to that one because some chapters I cannot post here due to restrictions of the site.
1. Chapter 1

Lilac Love

Chapter One

I knew you once, but now I remember

I rolled over in the bed and looked at his delicate face as he slept. There was a faint smile on him, either really comfy or having a nice dream. I looked at my wrist and saw the lilac ribbon that you tied to it so long ago; a constant reminder that I still have a heart.

Five years earlier

I looked down at my phone to check the time; thirty minutes till my ride arrives for work. I enjoy my job but I wish I could be in a band though, many people came up to me and asked me if I played in this band and I told them that I couldn't remember, or just a simple no. After the accident the doctors told me that part my memory center was damaged so the past eleven years would be a blank to me for a while. My doctor said that with exposure to what my memories were tied to I would recover faster but I wanted to recover at my own pace, not anyone else's. When I picked up the guitar in my house I started to mess with it and my memories of how to play it started to come back gradually. For some reason though, when I was playing I started singing to it and had no clue where they came from. When I went to check up with the doctor I mentioned what happened and he asked for the lyrics I sang and looked them up. The guy asked if I wanted to know then what songs they were from and I replied saying that I'd rather find out later.

I do, however, remember that my name is Frank Iero and I can play electric and acoustic guitar pretty damn well. I was a rather sickly child and spent a lot of time in the hospital as a kid. What I am not sure of is my age, I told my therapist I'm twenty but he told me that I am actually thirty! I thought it was 2001 and he said was 2012! I asked him why my phone looked so epic and he told me that phone was pretty common this year! I picked a really shitty time to damage my brain.

My ride arrived to bring me to my job as a guitar instructor. I opened the car door and felt the amazing heat from inside and got straight in. The warmth felt amazing and so relaxing. I would have passed out but my buddy was blasting Avenged Sevenfold in the car. The ride to work was pretty boring though, nothing changed, the same route, same amount of traffic, and same idiots on the rode. I would drive myself but my therapist advised against that until I was much better and agreed on what year it was. I hated it, I would have loved to drive myself to work, especially since it was at night, the sky was just so cool to look at.

We were halfway to my work when my friend decided to break the "silence" and lower the music.

"Something wrong?" I asked.

"You haven't given me an answer to my question yet."

"I told you it would be a while before I answered."  
"It's been a month. I know it won't help you get your memories back but it'll help you stop gettin' your ass beat."

I sighed. "I'll have an answer for you when I clock out, promise."

The car went quiet again and my friend turned the music back up. I had hoped he forgot about that question, I know it would help me out but the thought of changing my life was awkward. Granted I had already changed my entire life since the accident changing it again would probably just stress me out even more. For fuck's sake I just wanted my old life back, whatever it was I wanted it back; it was probably better than this life I had. Now that I promised to give him an answer by the time I finished work I really had to give it some thought. Hell maybe it might actually help with regaining my memories. Maybe I would get them back the second I changed my life, again. Maybe I would be able to go back to my old life with the new life.

We arrived at the arts studio and I got out of the car and waved to my friend as he gave me a look that screamed for me to give him an answer by the time he came back then drove off after I shut the door. I walked in the building and greeted the desk staff. I clocked in and sat in a chair to soak in the warmth of the building.

"Still have a shitty memory Frank?" one guy asked.

"Oh fuck you," I replied with a laugh.

"Tempting offer but I prefer guys that at least know who the president is," the guy laughed again. Of course I had to say that to the other gay guy on staff, he was pretty cool though, and everyone loved him, including the stuck-up Christians that came here. He was always helpful and polite with everyone.

I walked into the office and got my electric and acoustic guitars. I heard the desk staff making a fuss about some guy that just walked in but I didn't pay attention to it and made sure my guitars (well at least the acoustic) was in tune and that the both were still in good condition. The fussing at the front continued and it got harder to concentrate on what I was doing so I eventually shut the door, not even noticing who was causing the fuss. The office became much quieter when I shut the door and I sighed from relief then went back to the tuning. I checked the time and noticed I still had some time so I decided to play one of the songs I remembered and sang to it a little. Funny though, I almost cried while I was playing the song because I couldn't remember how I knew the song, the song was also depressing so that didn't help either. I heard a knock on the door and opened it. The guy that usually teases me was standing in front of it with a huge smile on his face but I could tell there was some extreme jealousy behind it.

"Some guy is here to see you old man!" he teased.

"Yeah right, you're just trying to get me in my classroom!" I laughed.

"No I'm serious; go over to the desk...now…" I got confused and walked over to the only guy standing on the other side of the desk. He seemed surprised to see me for some reason. I assumed I did something wrong.

"You're Frank Iero?" the guy asked. He had a sort of pulled back Mohawk, the fuller part was blonde and the sides were a brown, he had brown eyes, and very thin lips yet I was immediately attracted to him and I seemed to remember him from somewhere.

"Yeah? What of it?"

"I'm Mikey Way, I was told I could find you here if I wanted to talk to you," the strange guy replied as he stuck out his hand which I took and shook. The moment I touched his hand a flash of memory went through my head and most of the images involved this exact person. My face probably looked blank because the teaser slapped my face to bring me back to reality.

"Uh….y-yeah….but I'm about to teach a guitar class so could it wait till later possibly?" I asked while still in shock.

"Sure! I can talk to you right after if you want," he replied with a smile.

"Is it that urgent because I have to meet someone after…?" I responded, remembering my friend wanted that answer tonight.

"Well…kinda…"

"Tell you what," I interrupted, "give me your number and I'll text you when we can talk. The thing I have to do after shouldn't take long so we can probably talk right after that if it works.

"What time would that be?"

"Um….like 10:30 is when we could talk?"

"That works! Can I see your phone?" I handed Mikey my phone and he put his number in it then handed it right back.

"Cool, I'll text you the second I'm done with everything. I gotta head to my class before my students break something. It was nice meeting you!" I went back into the office and grabbed my guitars then walked off to my classroom. I heard one of the guys yell something down the hell and I laughed about it and rolled my eyes.

When I got to the classroom I sat down in my chair and thought about everything that just happened. Meeting this guy that I'm already attracted to, remember him from somewhere, and he wants to talk with me later. Along with having to give my friend an answer by ten tonight! I thought about the question while I was teaching. Weighing the pros and cons of what would happen and it seemed that the pros outweighed the cons but I still wasn't sure. I had the class break into groups and practice with each other and took advantage of the group work to think some more on the question at hand. By the end of the group work I made my decision and was able to concentrate better on the class.

I decided to begin teaching the class a new song, one of the ones I remembered. In fact it was the one that almost made me cry so it was ironic yet convenient at the same time. I played the song entirely first and the class was impressed with how I played it with ease; some even said I make it look easy. I laughed and said it was all in practice. I had to remind the class I had no clue how I knew the song due to my accident since they were asking where I knew the song or the name of it. We spent the rest of the class going over the first verse, or what I thought was the first verse. Some kids had a bit of difficulty with it so while the others that were getting it practiced I helped the ones that were struggling. I took some sort of pride for being able to teach others how to play such a beautiful instrument. I thought of it as a way to relax and I hoped my students thought the same too.

Class was coming to a close so I told everyone to stop playing while I gave my usual speech on what to do for next week. I heard some groans so I had to reinforce that it would help and all the stupid bullshit teachers are told to say. Luckily the students for this class have to be at least seventeen to join so I was allowed to swear, within reason. I hated having some restriction on my language, it was so stupid. I waited for the last person to leave the room before I packed up my guitars and went to go put them back in the office. When I put the guitars in the office I made sure to lock the cases because I got paranoid someone might want to do something to them. As I went to go clock out some of the guys asked me how the class went and I said it went fine and mentioned to the kids that were struggling, still. One person gave me advice and someone made a joke about it.

I put my jacket back on and walked out of the building. Sure enough my friend was there waiting for me but the car was off and he was waiting outside of the car. I walked over to him. "Why are you waiting outside?"

"We aren't leaving till you give me an answer."

I sighed and chuckled lightly. "You won't give up will you…" I looked at him for a few more moments before I answered. "Yes…"


	2. Chapter 2

Lilac Love

Chapter Two

This is bullshit!

"Good," my friend responded then looked me up and down. "I will come by Friday at **exactly** five in the evening. If you're not there I will find you and force the decision you made on you."

"Shit, okay. I won't ditch you. Chill…" my friend glared at me for a second then went to get in the car and I did the same, letting my head rest against the back of the seat and shut my eyes. My friend started up the car and turned on the radio, not blasting it this time, he must have been tired from whatever he was doing earlier. I felt the car jerk as he sped off to my apartment building, not caring for many traffic laws I assumed. I grabbed my phone to check for any texts, none. I remembered the guy that stopped by though, Mikey I think, he gave me his number because he wanted to talk about something. I sent him a text asking if was even awake, and then waited. The wait was short because I got a reply within seconds; he asked if he could stop by my place so we could talk face-to-face.

I thought about the question. I was pretty convinced that I just met this guy today but for some reason felt a connection with him that went back farther than just mere minutes. I didn't know how to reply to the text, part of me was screaming yes and the other no because it thought I just met him. While thinking of what to say my friend abruptly stopped the car at a red light and I jolted forward slightly, my phone almost falling out of my hands. He looked at me with a glare as if I was doing something wrong, I looked back with a scared puppy face and he immediately sighed and stopped glaring. I loved how I was able to manipulate him like that; I nearly got away with anything when I did that, I laughed when it worked in this case too. I remembered my text message to Mikey and decided to invite him over; I gave him my address and building number.

I got a reply after a couple minutes and it said he would be over in five minutes. Time, and my friend's driving, working in my favor we had gotten back to my building when I got the reply from Mikey. My friend stopped the car and turned it completely off when he parked, we both got out of the car and he walked up to the entrance of the building. When I got up there he looked at me as if to say he would walk me up, I looked back and chuckled lightly then opened the door and let him walk ahead of me; I followed after him.

We arrived at my apartment and he stood in the doorway, he was looking down at the floor. "Lasalle…?" I asked before he faced me suddenly then kissed me on my lips. I closed my eyes and let it happen; he grabbed my arms to maintain balance. It was so sudden yet it felt right somehow, it felt natural. I freed my arms and hugged Lasalle as he continued to kiss me. It was only for a minute but it seemed much longer than that. It was so passionate and sweet; I didn't want it to end. My friend ended the kiss sadly though. When he leaned back his face was a bright shade of red. He gave me a hug then looked into my eyes for what seemed like minutes then ruffled my hair and walked off.

I went into my apartment and flopped down on the couch in the main room. I thought about everything that happened tonight: this guy showing up at my work and coming over in a few minutes, giving my friend an answer and then him kissing me when he dropped me off, and this memory of this new guy going through my head. It was so crazy I didn't really comprehend the memory.

I think I was on stage with him or something and I was playing guitar next to him. There was another guy there that had bright red hair and the other guy had so much hair. It was so weird it felt just like a dream because there was no way I could have been in a band after high school. Still it could have happened; maybe Mikey was sent to help me recover though I thought Lasalle was supposed to do that; at least that was what I was told. I sighed, threw my jacket off and turned my TV on and watched the late night news while I waited. I couldn't believe there were still developments on the shooting in Colorado even though they had the guy in custody; I mean they knew he shot all those people and there were loads of witnesses to the shooting so what more could they want? I changed the channel to something that I didn't question. There was an old western movie on the next channel so I stuck with that. Though I don't think the guys in those movies realized a lot of conflict would have been avoided if they just built the towns much bigger for everyone. Oh well, at least when murder happens in these the case is solved quickly and there aren't any stupid "developments" on it.

I heard a knock on my door and stared at it for a second then remembered that it was most likely Mikey. I got off the couch and headed to the door, not really caring about how I looked. I peered through the little peephole on the door and the person on the other side did look like Mikey. I unlocked the door and opened it. Mikey smiled at me, the smile seemed awkward though, as if he wanted to do more than that but tried to keep some distance. I shrugged it off and smiled back, telling Mikey to come in and sit on the couch. He hung his jacket up on the rack first and said something about my place being really warm; I couldn't help that I was normally cold. I grabbed a couple beers from the fridge for Mikey and myself and went back into the living room. I handed the can to Mikey and he took it from me calmly. His appearance was different this time than before; he was wearing glasses and he was wearing a beanie so I could only see some of his hair. I felt that his current appearance was familiar to me, as if I had seen it a few years ago. Some more images flashed through my head of Mikey in this kind of outfit but his hair was a bit more even and it was all brown and not just parts of it.

I felt a hand touch my shoulder and came back to reality. The hand belonged to Mikey, who seemed to look extremely worried yet had the faintest smile on his face. I was about to open my beer but Mikey stopped me. "I suggest you don't drink just yet…" I looked at Mikey in confusion but set my drink on the table anyway and he did the same. He looked back at me some more and I looked back as well. I was really confused why he wanted to come over, I knew he wanted to talk but he wasn't doing much of it, yet. He looked down, sighed, and then looked back at me, more serious this time. "Do you know what happened?" he asked quickly.

I had no clue how to answer that; hell I didn't even know what he was referring to. I just looked at Mikey in confusion.

"Do you remember the accident?" he asked again, just as fast.

"Oh…No I don't…How do you know I was in an accident?" I asked, looking down at the cushions, feeling tears start to form at the corners of my eyes.

Mikey stayed silent for a few moments before speaking again. He sighed a few times, probably tried to collect his thoughts. "I was there when it happened…"

An entire scene flooded my head when he said that, it almost seemed like a scene from an episode of SVU only more realistic and the cops didn't show up in time to stop the problem. The sun was just about to leave the sky and I was walking along the sidewalk with Mikey; we were holding hands…We went to the park to sit down and watch the rest of the sunset, there weren't many people there at that time. As we sat on the bench I laid my head on Mikey's shoulder and he wrapped his arm around my waist. We stayed at the same spot long after the sun had gone down; we didn't exchange many words but enjoyed having each other. When we decided to get up we started to head back the way we came though the park felt rather eerie; granted there was no one else at the park it seemed extremely quiet, not even an animal could be heard. I chose to stay close to Mikey, who held me close as we were leaving.

We saw some people walking down the sidewalk and that made me feel a bit better, for only a split second though as they turned sharply and ran towards us. I was shocked at what was going on and froze in place while Mikey took off, I could hear Mikey yell after me but I stood completely frozen as a man much larger than both Mikey and I ran straight for me and tackled me to the ground and started to punch at my face and head then slammed my stomach a few times before lifting me off the ground by my neck and slapping my face with his free hand. When he was through with slapping me he tossed me back to the ground; other people circled around me and all at once started to punch and kick me. I felt my ribs cracking and then felt an intense pain in my leg as someone jammed a shard of glass in it. I even felt someone kick the back of my head a few times before finally passing out from the pain. The last thing I was able to recall was Mikey coming to my side and yelling my name.

I came back to reality and curled up in a ball on the couch; feeling where the stab wound on my leg was. I buried my face into my legs and began to cry, that wasn't the first memory I wanted back of someone that probably means more than the world to me but it came back and it was the most painful one. I felt Mikey pull me in and hold me close; he stroked my hair and just let me cry in his arms. He kissed my head gently and laid his on it with the same gentleness as his kiss. I continued to cry for nearly an hour before finally calming down, Mikey didn't let go the entire time and he continued to hold me after I relaxed; well stopped crying at least, I was still shaking severely. I had a hard time swallowing what just happened but I felt deep within me that Mikey had told me the truth and the memory I just regained was in fact real but it was just so traumatic that I wanted it to stay gone. I would have preferred a happier memory of Mikey but I guess life can't be fair all the time. Mikey started to rub my arm now, letting me know that he was still there and cared. He kissed my head gently again and I looked up at him as he still held me.

"W-was that memory I just had…real…?" I asked Mikey, feeling tears form again.

Mikey shook his head as if to say yes and held me tighter as I buried my face in his chest and cried again. Only for a few minutes this time before completely calming down. "Do you happen to have a gold ring?"

"Uh…yeah I do…do you want me to get it?" I asked Mikey then he nodded. I went into my room and opened the small box that contained some very important things to me, or were really expensive. I found the gold ring in it and looked at the engraving on it, "eternal," I was sure Mikey knew what it meant or he wouldn't have asked about it. The design on the ring wasn't too intricate, just a simple Celtic pattern around the outside while the engraving remained on the inside. I went back to the living room with the ring and asked Mikey if it was the right one, he nodded and gently took the ring from me. He motioned for me to sit back on the couch and took my left hand with his right.

I was extremely confused but my memory of the accident made me think that we had dated at one point, which may have been likely. Mikey smiled when he looked at the ring I handed him and let a couple tears fall down his cheeks. As Mikey held my hand and the ring another memory flashed through my head. This time it seemed happier, it was in a church during the day and it was packed with people I saw my parents and Mikey but I didn't recognize anyone else besides scattered family members. Mikey was standing in front of me though and we were at an alter, there was a priest to the right of me saying a bunch of stuff I really didn't care about and Mikey was looking directly into my eyes. He looked extremely happy that he was almost crying but kept a coolness about him. The priest finally shut up and Mikey lifted his hand and began to speak.

_"With this ring…"_

"I be wed," the present Mikey finished as he put the ring on my finger and looked at me with excitement. I looked back at him, confused at first but then had a huge smile on my face and embraced him with the biggest hug I could possibly give and started to cry from happiness as I hugged Mikey.

Mikey hugged me back and I could hear him sniffle a little and knew that he was crying from joy as well. We remained in each other's arms until we finally passed out.


	3. Chapter 3

Lilac Love

Chapter Three

It's starting to come back…

I woke up on my couch to find a blanket draped over me. I groaned slightly before sitting up on the couch; I saw two unopened beers on the table, not remembering why they were there. I rubbed my eyes and ran a hand through my hair, noting how knotted it was. I couldn't quite grasp the events of last night; I dwelled on them for a few more moments only to bury my face in my hands. When my hands touched my face I jolted back when something rather cold met my skin. I looked at my hands and noticed a gold ring on my left ring finger; the one from last night with the Celtic design and engraving inside it. As I looked at the ring memories of last night flooded my brain and it all made sense, sort of.

I didn't notice when I first woke up but I did notice that the area smelled a lot like coffee, what kind I don't remember. I normally don't drink coffee unless I'm really tired but I'm sure I couldn't have gotten up while I was sleeping to make any. That would be awesome, but highly unlikely. The TV was even off but I didn't turn it off last night so that means either Mikey or Lasalle was in my apartment. Probably Lasalle because he's addicted to coffee and didn't like watching TV, and he knows how cold I can really get. I turned around to see if anyone was in the kitchen and there was, but it wasn't Lasalle, it was Mikey. Strange, I thought, I figured he would have left a while after I passed out. Then again after what I remembered from last night I guessed he wouldn't really be leaving much. I decided to not let Mikey know I was up so I could just look at him (granted it was a back view he had a sweet ass) and let memories of him run through my mind, good or bad I let them come back. I wanted to remember everything about this person, knowing I married him made my heart melt and commit to do whatever it took to remember.

I must have had the creepiest smile on my face because when Mikey turned around and saw me he smiled awkwardly and laughed weakly. He had two cups of coffee in his hands and walked back over to me and sat down next to me, handing me a cup and I took it gently, enjoying the warmth that came from the cup itself and the drink as I sipped at it.

"In a little while we're going to see your therapist," Mikey said as he looked down at the table.

"I know that, I usually do in the morning. You don't have to come if you don't want to," I replied with a gentle smile.

"I have to though…" Mikey sighed and I looked at him as if to ask why. "If I don't go we won't know if you can move out of this place and back with me…"

Right, I realized since we were, well married, we obviously lived together. Though I didn't realize I needed to ask my therapist. "He told me that if you regained any significant memory of me that we'd need to see him about you moving back in…"

There had to be more rules! I really hated this; I mean come one I remembered a wedding and the accident that should be enough to let me move back in. I sighed and groaned, accompanied with some swearing; Mikey tried to comfort me but he knew how pissed off I was. Luckily I didn't have to work that day so if I got a yes I probably wouldn't have much to move over to where Mikey lived. I asked Mikey what I'd have to bring if I could move back in. It wasn't much I'd have to bring with me, just my clothes and anything else that wasn't furniture since he kept all the stuff from when we first moved in together but upgraded it to some nicer stuff. I was excited to hopefully move back in with Mikey but I did admit I would miss the apartment, I may not have made any significant new memories in it but I spent a bit of time there hanging out with Lasalle and just talking about, well anything really. He became a really close friend and we confided in each other, which reminded me of the promise I made. I told Mikey I'd be right back and went on the balcony with my phone and shut the door behind me.

I called Lasalle the second the door was shut and hoped he'd pick up. It rang a few times before it went quiet and then I heard a groan then a hello, something similar to it anyway; Lasalle knew it was me. I said hi and then went on to explain everything that happened after he left last night and what might happen. He sounded really happy for me and congratulated me on it, and then he sounded panicky and started to apologize about kissing me last night. I laughed lightly and said that it was okay; we both didn't know so it was alright to happen. I told him that Mikey said it was okay if I did anything during the time we were apart since I had no memory of him. Lasalle sighed from relief and we chatted a while longer before I brought up the promise. I tried to ask if there was anyway I could change my decision but he would have none of it. He said it wouldn't really affect my daily life and he'd give me more information on Friday night as to why that was true. He wished me good luck and said he had to go so we said bye to each other and hung up. I lowered my hand and put my phone back in my pocket then bit my lip. Fuck…

I went back inside and Mikey didn't even ask who I called. I thought it was a little off but I guess it was something Mikey didn't do. I smiled and sat back down with Mikey and just noticed he was wearing a long-sleeve shirt. I asked him why he was wearing it and replied that he thought it was comfortable. Though the way he said it made me feel concerned, it took him a while to answer and it seemed half-hearted. I decided to not push him it since we were both already going through so much. I trusted Mikey though so I was sure it wasn't anything bad, maybe his mind went blank for a second then realized the question; so many possibilities.

Mikey got up and said we should get ready to go after he finished texting someone. I got up and looked around for my jacket and shoes and put them on. I gazed at my ring again and smiled, I was overflowed with joy to find out what it was for and that I was really married. I let a tear fall down my face from the happiness and laughed quietly, I haven't gotten this emotional probably since my actual wedding to Mikey. He walked over to me and gave me a hug, gently letting his lips meet mine; having more and more memories of him flow threw my mind. I wished that kiss lasted longer but Mikey was dying to find out if we could live together again. He smiled and pulled me out the door and to his car. He unlocked it and we both got in, Mikey obviously was driving. His driving style was more relaxed than Lasalle's and the music wasn't blaring either. It was at a tone that you could still hear the person next to you and still keep a beat with the music that played. The car didn't give any memories though, or they were just that unimportant that they were dismissed or stored for later.

The ride to the therapist wasn't that long but it seemed like it because I just gazed at Mikey the entire time. I felt extremely happy to have him in my life and to be able to remember him. It made me think that my life was finally taking a turn for the better and I loved it. Even if my therapist told me I couldn't move back in I wouldn't even have any of that; I wanted to be with Mikey and whether the therapist liked it or not I'd move back in. I would risk anything just to be with Mikey. I knew in my heart that I vowed at our wedding, and probably before that, that I would do anything for Mikey to make sure we'd stay together and that he'd be safe but I decided to say that again, quiet enough that Mikey couldn't really hear but he must have because a small smile formed on his face. I didn't want to lose Mikey; again, I knew the deal I made with Lasalle would ensure just that when I thought of it.

Mikey asked me some questions about Lasalle, really personal ones too. I told him everything and that the only "sexual" thing Lasalle did to me was kiss me right before he came over. Everything else was either what we talked about or the verbal teasing he did to me. I told Mikey what I was doing now and my dreams to be in a band. For some reason that made Mikey feel a little sad; I asked him what was wrong and he said it was nothing and he was just glad to have me back in his life.

We reached the therapist office and parked near the building. There weren't many other cars parked there, pretty typical for a Tuesday here. We got out of the car and shoved my hands in my pockets as we walked to the building. Mikey wrapped his arm around me, slipping his hand in between my side and arm. I laid my head on his shoulder as we walked; it felt amazing to be this close and to be in love again.

Once we got inside my therapist was quick to bring us in his office and begin the discussion straight away. He started asking about my minor memories that I regained and he wrote them down furiously on a pad of paper. He began to tense as I talked so I stopped after each one to let him catch up and give him a better chance of getting it all right. I didn't want to screw this up one bit; I wanted to be with Mikey so bad. When I finished the minor memories we took a break while the guy went over his notes. He sat there looking at his scribbles and flipping papers for a few minutes then looked up at Mikey and I.

"Alright, anything significant?" he asked as he clasped his hands together on his lap.

I looked at Mikey with pleading eyes; I didn't want to tell the memory of the accident, it would be too painful. Mikey held me closer and kissed my head. He told me it would be okay and I could tell the other memory after. I took in a deep breath and looked down at the floor. Mikey continued to hold me as I told every last detail of the accident and when I started to become distraught he held me even tighter and reassured me that it would all be okay. My therapist waited for me to relax before I continued; he just sat there and waited patiently. After I eventually calmed down I continued to retell the memory I had of the accident without becoming completely distraught that time; just tears that ran down my face. Mikey wiped the tears from my face when I was done and hugged me tightly and rubbed my back to comfort me. He looked at me with a big smile as if to say I could tell the other memory now; he put his forehead on mine and I smiled lightly. I took another deep breath and began to tell the memory of the wedding. I was a lot happier when I told that one, sure I cried a little but those tears were happy like before when I first gained the memory. I finished and Mikey gave me another big hug and kissed my head.

The therapist wrote a bit more before looking up something on his computer and relooking every last thing he wrote for a while before looking at Mikey and I. "Michael can you confirm that what Frank said was true?"

Mikey looked at me and smiled, "Yes, I sure can," he said with a huge smile.

The therapist sighed and looked at his notes again then looked back at Mikey and I with a smile. "Well Mr. Way it does appear that you should be fine under the care of Michael. You will still need to come here regularly and I still advise against you driving for a while until you have any recollection of any and all car accidents you were involved in after the time of the accident. Other than that you are free to go with your husband," he ended as he closed his notepad.

When Mikey and I stood up we hugged each other so tightly, I actually cried a little. My life was getting better how could I not have cried? Mikey helped guide me back to the car and helped me in since I was still crying from the good news. Mikey got in the car and drove us back to my apartment to get what I basically needed, which was just all my clothing and anything that wasn't furniture and we managed to fit it in the small car. I was overcome with so much joy I felt like I could take on all of my other memories at once. Though Mikey mentioned that may not be good for my mental health. We were both extremely happy. While I was making sure I had everything I needed Mikey went to make a phone call. I didn't really care to ask who because I was so happy; I guessed it must have been a relative or something like that. I heard Mikey finish his conversation when he got back to the car. We both reentered the vehicle and drove off. I asked Mikey what the address was because Lasalle said he wanted to stop by on Friday; I couldn't really say why because it would scare Mikey but he gave me the address anyway and I sent a message to my friend with the address.

The drive to our house wasn't too long, maybe ten or fifteen minutes tops before we finally pulled into a driveway. The house wasn't too big but also not too small. It did, however, seem big enough to raise a family with maybe four kids. When Mikey parked he checked his phone real quick then put it away and got out of the car hastily and came to my side of the car, opening the door in haste. He pulled me out of the car and I was really confused about the rush but I smiled anyway and let him push me all the way to the front door. I couldn't see through the windows because there were thick curtains covering them. I opened the door calmly all the way.

When I opened it I was greeted by two small girls, probably twins, a guy with a nose that tilted up and brown hair and he was holding a baby boy with peach fuzz hair. The small girls were holding the man's pants probably to balance; they were probably no more than two at most. When I looked at them all more memories raced through my mind of them. First came the young girls, I remembered holding one of them in a hospital and Mikey holding the other. I mouthed something that seemed like "Cherry" and Mikey also mouthed something that seemed to be "Lily." Then a memory of the little baby flashed through; I saw Mikey holding the baby, in a hospital, and I was next to him we both said "Miles" at the same time. When I looked to the man that was holding who I thought was Miles I saw him on many stages with different hair colors. He was signing next to Mikey who was playing a bass guitar.

When I came back I heard the little girls chanting "daddy" as they were pulling at my pants. Mikey picked up the one to my right and I picked up the one on my left. The one I picked up Mikey said was Cherry and he was holding Lily; he told me the other man was his older brother Gerard and he was helping take care of the kids while I was away. I figured that much, who would leave two toddlers and an infant alone? While I was holding Cherry I began to cry from happiness in and the other two helped me in the house and to a couch. I kept holding Cherry and rocked her back and forth gently while I let the fresh tears escape my eyes and run down my face. Mikey explained to me that all three of the children belonged to us but they were mine biologically since we had a surrogate mother for them. She was a close friend of ours and was more than happy to help us out. The girls were in fact twins and we had distinct outfits for them so we could tell them apart; even their cribs had their names on them!

My rocking must have really relaxed Cherry because when I went to look at her face I saw a sleeping angel; in fact Lily was also asleep. Mikey and I put them in the play-pin that was in the same room gently so they wouldn't wake up. Gerard handed me Miles, I looked at the baby boy and he looked like me in baby form. He had brown eyes and I could tell his hair was also brown. Miles tugged at my jacket and put what he grabbed in his mouth, I gently pulled it out and Gerard hand me his binky. Miles sucked on it and eventually went to sleep; I decided to keep holding him since he wasn't that heavy and I at least wanted to hold one of my kids for longer than a couple minutes. The three of us just sat on the couch and talked for a while.


	4. Chapter 4

Lilac Love

Chapter Four

What the hell?!

Gerard, Mikey, and I (as I held Miles) sat on the couch and talked; though it seemed more like Gerard was helping me remember him. I asked him why I could remember seeing him on stage and with lots of different hair colors. He said he wasn't too sure but did mention he had a habit of dying his hair a lot. It seemed like a lie though but I didn't care; he was willing to help me out and my brother-in-law so I trusted him. Mikey went on to explain that I would be slowly introduced to everyone that knew before the accident; about once a month. He said doing this slowly would be easier for me so I could spend time with them to regain memories of them. Since it was the end of the month and I already had to remember four people it would be a while before I would re-meet another person.

Gerard got up from the couch and went to make a phone call in the other room. Mikey and I talked with each other and I was filled in on pretty much everything Mikey and I did together; before and after we got married. He told me about the twins as well and explained that we had Miles a few days before the accident and he was still learning stuff that I could help with. Everything Mikey told me made me feel happier and happier with each new memory. I was so glad Mikey loved me this much and his older brother was more than willing to help out in any way he possibly could. I felt like the luckiest person on the planet then and there. I couldn't help but start to tear up; apparently Gerard heard my sniffling because he came back to the living room while he was on the phone and took Miles from me so Mikey could comfort me again. It made me feel bad that I needed so much comforting but dammit I was finally figuring out stuff about me and I was so fucking about it!

When I relaxed I cuddled with Mikey on the couch and we continued to talk. He told me I could still see Lasalle and if Lasalle did anything like a kiss or hug that was fine, along with some teasing, but if my pants came off then I would be in trouble. Mikey said it was like approved cheating except we couldn't have sex, at all. Not that I even intended to cheat on my own husband but him letting me have that much freedom was a little offsetting. I questioned him about it and he said that Gerard used to do that to me a lot while we (Mikey and I) were dating and it was all in good fun. I told Mikey if he wanted the same with anyone in particular I wouldn't mind but the same rules applied. He laughed and said I was the only one for him. I blushed a lot at that; it made me feel a little guilty because he let his brother flirt and stuff with me.

Gerard came back with Miles, this time he was off the phone and he looked at Mikey, sort of me as well. "Okay I talked to Billie and he said we could have the kids for a few days while Frankie gets settled back in or do you want them at mom and dad's?"

"I think the kids would like to see their cousin," Mikey answered with the sweetest smile I have ever seen.

"Alright, while you're showing Frank around I'll get the kids ready," Gerard said as he went off down the hall and went up some stairs.

I got off Mikey so he could get up. He put a hand on my back and motioned to the room behind us. It seemed a little stupid that I needed a tour of my own house but shit I didn't really remember it. The first floor was pretty basic: kitchen, family room, spare room that was filled with music instruments and the like, the garage, and a half bath. When we went upstairs he showed me where all the kids were currently sleeping until they got older; eventually it would be Miles' room and the twins' rooms would be right across the hall but for the time being they were empty and served little purpose except guest rooms. There were two full bathrooms in the hall and our room was at the very back of the hall. Mikey opened the door and the room was pretty nice; the bed was in the middle of the back wall with a window above it, there was a dresser near the door that had a flat screen TV above it, there was a huge walk-in closet on one side and an epic master bathroom on the other; it had a Jacuzzi and a shower that could fit two people, maybe three.

Before I could sit on the bed Mikey and I heard Gerard calling from downstairs to come help with the twins. We went downstairs and picked up the girls from the play-pin. Mikey had Cherry this time and I had Lily; I was able to tell because Lily was wearing a purple outfit and Cherry was in a matching pink one. They were awake when we picked them up and Lily hugged my neck tightly; not tight enough to choke me though. She shouted "daddy" and gave me a kiss on my cheek, I blush and kiss her head. Lily's eyes were like chocolate and her hair was a similar shade, Cherry also had a similar appearance but I couldn't really see her eyes since she was still tired and her eyes kept shutting and opening.

We all got to Gerard's car and opened the doors, the kiddy seats were already in there for the kids. One at a time we placed them in the car, carefully strapping them in and making sure the buckles would stay. Miles and Cherry were fast asleep in their seats and Lily was a ball of energy; I tried to hush her and talk quietly but it was to no avail. Mikey told me it was alright and we shut the doors to the car and Gerard got in the driver's side. He said he would bring them back on Sunday afternoon and he would call when he was bringing them over so we would stop whatever we were doing; he winked when he said that and I blushed when he did. Mikey and I backed away from the car and Gerard pulled out; Mikey and I waved until we knew they couldn't see us.

We went back inside and Mikey locked the door behind us then went to go change his shirt. I sat on the couch in the living room and messed with the TV, trying to find something good to watch. While I was channel surfing I heard something odd and lowered the volume of the TV to get a better listen because the noise wasn't in the TV. I strained my ear and listened carefully, I looked up and it appeared to be coming from the vent above me. I stood on the couch and listened to the vent; I mostly heard air flowing through but I could still hear another noise. After listening for a while it sounded an awful lot like crying. I turned the TV back up to a normal volume and searched around the house for the source of the noise. I started with the first floor and listened at the closed doors carefully. It seemed that it got quieter at the rooms I checked but I heard it in the make-shift music room when I checked it; though the sound was muffled so it was coming from upstairs in any case. I went upstairs quietly and checked all the rooms, being careful to shut the doors just as quiet.

I went in my room and looked around. I first checked the bathroom and there wasn't anything, or anyone, in there. I remembered Mikey hadn't gone back downstairs so I called out his name and I heard fumbling from the closet and walked over. The door was shut, odd, I opened it and I saw Mikey sitting on the floor looking at what appeared nothing. I walked over to him and crouched down.

"What's wrong Mikey?"

"Oh nothing, I thought I left something in here but it seems I was wrong," he responded weakly as he got up, his legs were shaking slightly and I grew worried.

"You sure? You look pretty pale…"

"It's nothing, honestly," Mikey smiled at me then gave me a hug. I mentioned to him that he was wearing the same shirt and he laughed then went back into the room to get one. I noticed that he paused when most of them were short-sleeve; he looked panicked as well. He shut the drawer then said he didn't mind wearing the same shirt again. He sighed then asked if I wanted to go out to eat or stay home. I said I wanted to go out but I wanted to change first and I wanted him to put fresh clothes on as well. Mikey sighed and agreed to what I wanted he went back in the closet to go find a clean pair of pants and I did the same; considering Gerard was kind enough to put my clothes in the dressers earlier, I knew I would owe him something for all he had done.

Mikey had his pants off in a flash and I took the chance to stare at his ass while I rummaged around for a random pair of pants. I felt something in my pants become slightly stiffer and I blushed then hid my face in the rack of pants. When I found a pair Mikey was already in his clean pair and was looking directly at me. He asked if he really had to change his shirt. I was really confused; did he love that shirt that much? I told him yes slightly annoyed then he sighed and went back out to the bedroom and I heard the dresser open. I finished with my pants and went out as well to find Mikey shirtless; I would have taken the time to look at his bare torso but I noticed his arm was red and something dripped from it. Mikey turned his head and saw me then held his arms to his chest along with the shirt.

I was in shock, I wanted to yell so much but something made me walk over to Mikey. I held him in my arms and he began to cry and kept saying he was sorry. He sunk to the floor and I went with him; keeping him steady. I kept holding him and said that everything would be alright as he buried his face in my chest. I rubbed his back and kissed his head. I felt Mikey get slightly limp and he groaned. I looked at his face and it seemed like all life was draining from it and he was having a hard time staying awake. I panicked and yelled at Mikey; I found his phone on the floor and called Gerard (since I didn't have his number yet) and told him what was going on. He seemed really angry on my end but tried to remain calm and told me what I had to do. After we hung up I picked up Mikey and laid him down on our bed, using his shirt as makeshift gauze while I went into the bathroom for actual gauze and bandages. When I got back Mikey wasn't awake but I saw his chest go up and down so I knew he was still there but the pain had made him pass out. I went over to him and removed the shirt he planned on wearing from his arm and did my best to bandage him up. I put some blankets on him so he would stay warm then I went back into the closet.

I searched all over to find what made those wounds on Mikey and I was ready to give until I felt a slight dip on the wall my hand was on. I poked at it and it didn't feel like wood, paint, or wallpaper, it felt like regular paper. I examined it closely and saw a slight shadow from what seem like the bottom and lifted the paper up to find a hole in the wall. The hole was large enough to fit a beer can in it but also several razor blades, each one stained with blood and some completely clean. I covered my mouth in shock and a few tears slid down my face. Did I cause Mikey to do this? I wanted to use one of the clean ones on myself because I felt as though I was the cause of Mikey's suffering. I calmed down and carefully gathered the blades in my hands and threw them out in the trash bin in the kitchen so Mikey wouldn't think to look there for them.

When I got back into the bedroom Mikey was awake and was hugging his knees; still shirtless. I walked over to him and sat beside him on the bed.

"What caused this? Please tell me, I want to help," I asked pleadingly.

Mikey stared blankly at the bed before rolling his head towards me, "After the accident the doctors said that it could take you years to remember everything and you would have to live away from everyone so your first few months of recovery out of the hospital wouldn't be stressful since we had three children and there was no telling how you would react right away so moving was the best option for you. When I kept trying to check in on you I always got told no and that you still didn't remember anything about me or the kids. It tore my heart to pieces. Now that you're actually here it seemed so unreal, as if I was imagining the entire thing…" Mikey cried when he finished and I held him closely, reassuring that I was real and I was actually home with him and the kids. Once Mikey was calm again he finished changing then sat back down on our bed. He asked if I still wanted to eat out and I told him I did but we stayed at home for a while before we actually left. I wanted Mikey to have all of his strength back because he was still shaking after he woke up.

I added Gerard's number to my phone in the meantime and sent him a text letting him know Mikey was okay and we would be going out to eat in a while. He replied with a simple "okay" and told me to watch out for Mikey. As I went to get my jacket I felt arms wrap around my waist and I knew they belonged to Mikey. I smiled gently and wrapped my arms around him as well; except mine went around his back while I was still facing the coat rack. We stayed like that for about a minute before Mikey let go of me and grabbed his jacket as I grabbed mine. Once we were both in our jackets we left the house and got into Mikey's car. He asked what I wanted to eat and I told him to pick and then we drove off into town.


	5. Chapter 5

Lilac Love

Chapter Five

You are REALLY good with your hands!

Two hours later

Mikey struggled with the lock on the door while he had me pinned to it and tried to make out with me at the same time. My hands were sort of holding his head and running around it at the same time; Mikey held me with one arm and fumbled as he searched for the key. After some failed attempts he got the key and unlocked the door, pushed us both inside and onto the couch, barely breaking our embrace. Mikey knelt above me and slipped his hands up my shirt and onto my chest as we made out. When he played around with my pecks I let out soft moans between the kisses. I could tell Mikey was smiling when I did that; he must have liked the way I sounded. I felt his knee make contact with my crotch and he kneaded it slowly, causing me to moan a bit louder and break away from our kiss; I jerked my head back, exposing my neck to him.

He took that opportunity to have his lips meet with my neck's bare skin. Mikey kissed it tenderly and my breathing got heavier. He kept kissing one spot and eventually bit down on it, it was hard enough that I was able to feel some blood slide from where Mikey bit. He moved his tongue around the bite and it made me squirm since it stung slightly. Mikey pushed my shirt up and I arched my back when my skin touched the coldness of my leather jacket. He pulled it back down and my back returned to normal. He lifted me up and I looked at him in confusion; he kissed my forehead and gave a look as if to say we should continue upstairs. I gave Mikey a confirming smirk and we both ran upstairs and into our bedroom.

Mikey slammed the door shut and locked it when I got inside. He pushed me against a wall and we began to make out and remove each other's clothing. I had to be careful with Mikey since he still had bandages on his arm from earlier. I removed my jacket then Mikey took the pleasure of taking my shirt off and the same for him. While we were making out I felt up and down his back, enjoying the heat that radiated from it and he began to breathe heavier from it. Mikey pulled me away from the wall and pushed me down on the bed; I sat up slightly and he pushed me back down. He towered over me while I laid on the bed staring back at him with a helpless look (despite what he did earlier being horny made him pretty fucking strong). He looked back at me with a sinister smile and told me to stay put then walked over to the dresser and dug through the drawers, looking for something. I didn't know what because I didn't want to find out what Mikey would do if I moved. I heard clanking metal come from where Mikey was and he walked back to me. He kneeled over me, grabbed my wrists, and cuffed them; I nearly panicked but Mikey smiled sweetly and I relaxed quickly.

He moved me further up on the bed so my legs weren't dangling over the edge. I heard Mikey giggle lightly and he leaned into me and started to kiss me on the lips and I kissed back, then his kissing migrated from my lips to my cheek and then to my neck where he continued to kiss and nip at. I felt him bite down a bit hard then felt him licking at my neck and kissing it again before he continued kissing down my chest till he got to the zipper of my skinny jeans. I didn't see Mikey move his arms to undo the button and zipper but I was able to tell he was using his mouth to take care of both; slowly on purpose. I groaned while he teased me with his slow speed and asked him to go faster. When he didn't respond I asked again and when I still didn't get a response I decided to be a little mean and lift my hips up so my crotch made direct contact with his face. I heard a muffled grunt from my nether region and I chuckled lightly.

Mikey looked up at me from my crotch and gave me a devilish smirk. He crawled back up to me and towered over me.

"I guess you don't want a blow job then," he said with an evil grin as he began to knead my crotch hard, yet slowly. I moaned louder and louder each time his knee slammed into my crotch and Mikey continued to tower over me. He moved faster and faster and I kept getting louder; I could hear him chuckle slightly through my groaning and felt him stop.

"W-why did y-you st-stop…?" I asked shakily. Mikey was off me and standing up, I saw him walk over to the dresser and retrieve a set of keys. He unlocked the handcuffs and threw my pants on my lap. I partially sat up and looked over to him as he sat on the edge of the bed. "What's wrong?" Mikey stared at the floor blankly before lifting his head up.

"I just…it's just…I think we should wait until you have more of your memories back before…you know…"

I looked down at my pants and thought, he was probably nervous since I just got back in his life and wanted to try going slower. I slid back into my pants and sat by Mikey then held him tightly in my arms as we both fell onto the bed and fell asleep.


	6. Chapter 6

Lilac Love

Chapter Six

It's Friday!

Friday rolled around and I was yet again on a slow track for regaining my memories. Since Wednesday Mikey has only talked about us, our families, and not much else. I was getting a little irritated that my progress had slowed again and it was almost like being alone at my apartment; nothing. Okay maybe not completely slowed, I had gained quite a few major memories back but I still felt Mikey was holding some stuff back from me. I didn't press him for information though; he was probably holding it back for my best interest; so I didn't get overwhelmed.

Mikey had been bringing me to my work and he stayed to watch. While he was sitting in on my classes and while I played guitar I kept getting flashes of him playing a bass guitar next to me either on a stage or just sitting casually. It was really weird and made it hard for me to focus on my teaching. I brought it up to Mikey on Thursday night after the class got out and he told me that he played bass but was unsure about why I got flashes of us on a stage with Gerard and a guy with a huge afro. He had a theory that we were at a concert and those people he saw just happened to look like us.

I bought it, the idea seemed pretty legitimate because I've been told I looked like someone else before, can't remember who though, but it was still the most likely solution. I didn't argue either because I had to depend on Mikey and other people I was supposed to know to help me out. Amnesia really sucks! If anyone honestly thinks it would be cool and awesome to have it needs a slap in the face because it sucks some major ass! Honestly forgetting the person you're married to, your kids, and a lot of your family is really depressing. It is not something anyone should have to go through, it's too painful. I was surprised I didn't resort to what Mikey had been doing while I was out of the picture.

Back to Friday it was thankfully my day off so I could spend the day wandering around town with Mikey and get reacquainted with the town, or at least the places I loved to go to. The little "journey" started at a small café he said we usually go to for breakfast on the weekends with the kids. When we were done at the café Mikey showed me to the little vegetarian shop I always went to since, well I was a vegetarian. Being in that store was honestly a great feeling of joy, and a relief. Memories of the place flooded through my brain and it was awesome. Mikey said I could buy a couple things that were small and so I did. When I went to the cash register the clerk remembered me and started a conversation with me.

"Frank! It's great to see you back! How've you been? How's the band?" the clerk beamed.

"Uh…what band?" I was taken aback by the question; I had no clue what she was talking about.

"She's confusing you with someone else Frankie…" Mikey said as he walked up to the register in a hurried fashion. The clerk got confused but the conversation stopped there and Mikey and I left after I paid for my things.

Once outside I asked Mikey why she was asking about a band and he restated his previous comment that she had me confused with another person. That there were more than just one person named Frank and one of them was bound to be in a band anyway. I believed Mikey but I still had my suspicions about the ordeal. Was I really in a band and was Mikey lying to me about it? I did find it a bit strange that we had a music studio in the spare room of the house with recording equipment and various instruments. I let the thought sink away for now because today Mikey and I were pretty much on a date and I didn't want anything to go wrong.

Our next destination was the mall. Mikey said I went there as if I were going to church on Sunday. We walked there hand in hand and I was probably smiling like a stupid school girl finally being with her crush. I couldn't help it I was happy and I was getting my life back together and was even more in love with Mikey than I probably was before the accident. It was pure bliss to me. The only interruptions were some of my friends I made during my time away to either call, or text, me to embarrass me over the phone. I was surprised that I hadn't gotten a text from Lasalle however. He said he'd be checking up on me but it seemed like he wasn't doing a very good job of that. I ignored the fact that my friend wasn't doing what they said they would and continued to enjoy my day with Mikey. We went to every store I shopped at and the stores we both shopped at. I got a few things from Spencer's and some stuff from JC Penny's for the kids. It was so great to be getting back into the swing of things. We skipped lunch and decided to catch a movie at the cinema at the mall, "Avengers." My phone went off during nearly the entire movie and Mikey ended up taking it away from me because it was that annoying.

When the movie was finally over it was around four in the afternoon and Mikey gave me my phone back. I checked it and noticed I had several missed messages and phone calls from Lasalle. I told Mikey I would catch up with him in a couple minutes and he went to the food court. While reading through the messages I had they were Lasalle reminding me that I had to meet him somewhere by five in the evening. I called him straight away and said to be at the house I was living at by that time. He agreed and hung up promptly, I swore that man was strange, just didn't know how strange.

I met back up with Mikey at the food court and he had already gotten something for us to eat before we went home. He got us Chinese food, a meal with no meat for me and whatever he liked for himself. It wasn't much but then again we also ate a bunch of movie theatre snacks. A while later we both finished eating and went back to the house. It was ten minutes before five and Lasalle wasn't there yet so I went inside with Mikey and plopped myself on the couch and rested my eyes.

Mikey sat next to me on the couch and cuddled up next to me. I laid my head on his and gave it a gentle kiss. We stayed like that for several minutes until I heard a knock on the door. Mikey pouted because I had to get up and answer the door, I checked the time on my way and sure enough it was five. When I opened the door Lasalle was in fact there but I didn't see his car parked anywhere. He asked me if he could come in and I obliged and let him slide past me and enter the house. I told Mikey it was Lasalle and they greeted each other once Mikey left the couch. However I knew Lasalle wasn't here to chat and hang out and he was quick to business.

"Okay let's go Frank," he said bluntly as he headed to the door.

Mikey got confused and was about to protest but I told him it involved work. I said that I had to go look at a few candidates for the guitar class I taught and see if they were ready for the next level or not. Of course it was a lie, I hated that I did that and it hurt a little even. Mikey believed me nonetheless and let Lasalle and I leave after he gave we exchanged a quick kiss.

It was a while down the road before Lasalle spoke.

"You honestly just **lied** to your husband that you haven't seen in months and just moved back in with?" he snapped.

"What the fuck would you like me to say? 'Oh hey Mikes I'm gonna Lasalle do weird things to my body be back in a bit sweetie!' I think that would have freaked him out a bit."

"Point, but you're gonna have to tell him the truth or he'll try and kill you when he finds out."

I agreed with my friend and we continued to walk to wherever Lasalle was taking us in silence. I took the silence as an opportunity to think about everything that was just about to happen. How my decision would change my life from the stories I've read and the research I've done. Granted Lasalle said whatever I was reading was utter bullshit I still had to find out some facts, if they were even facts. I was thinking if I should tell my kids when they were older or just keep it from them completely. I mean what I was doing was literally going to change me, not so much on the outside maybe but on my inside yes, very much so. Shit I wanted to change my mind so bad.

After a few more minutes of silence I finally spoke up. "Um Lasalle…" he nodded, "what if I were to change my mind?"

"Remember what I said about forcing that 'yes' on you?" I nodded in reply. "Yeah that would happen but I don't know if you'd be alive or not after," he chuckled.

It grew quiet after that again. I didn't know he would go so far as to nearly kill me to get me to comply. I figured he might have let me off after I got back with my family, after all I did answer him before Mikey showed up. I wanted to protest and argue with Lasalle but I knew that would get me nowhere, he was always so stubborn. I also certainly didn't want him to do whatever he intended on doing to me right in the street; it would get too much attention. I tried asking him where were going exactly but he just said somewhere and not to ask again.

For some reason he seemed really pissed off and I couldn't figure why. Or he could have been under a lot of pressure or something. Then again he was usually like that except it seemed like there was a lot more negative energy radiating from him that I swear I felt it.

More time had gone by and the moon was up by now, it was full and had a lot of light reflecting from it. It was also rather cold out too though thankfully I had worn my heavy jacket plus some gloves. I looked around and we were in an area unfamiliar to me. There was a large warehouse that looked abandoned but there were cars parked by it but I didn't see any lights on or people. The only other person I saw was Lasalle.

I had asked him who else was in the area but with no answer he just kept walking to the warehouse and I followed suit. As we got to the entrance of the building he looked around, probably for anyone that may have been following us, and then entered the large structure. I was hesitant about entering the building mainly because it was pitch black, but Lasalle pulled me inside within seconds. I heard the door shut behind me then a loud noise which sounded like someone had turned on the lights for the room. It took a while but a few of the lights had turned on and made the room light enough that I could see what was inside, mostly. Granted there wasn't much to see, the place looked deserted. I asked who turned the lights on and yet again Lasalle didn't answer me, he just continued to walk and I had no choice but to follow him. We walked until he stopped in what I assumed was the middle of the building and faced me.

"Well tonight will change your life, for the better, I promise you my friend," he put a hand on my shoulder. I couldn't help but shake from my nerves being out of sorts. "Don't be nervous, I know how easy you are to get sick and you're still able to get sick after this so I'll be careful with you. So just relax."

I nodded then tried to settle my nerves but to no avail. I was nervous as hell and I didn't know what to expect, especially from Lasalle, he was always secretive and never shared anything with me except something I now regretted knowing. My knees even started to shake, I was ready to panic.

I saw two more people walk up behind Lasalle and stand next to them. One of them was a young woman, probably around Lasalle's age. She had dyed blue hair that went a bit below her bust, size zero gauges, snake bite lip piercings, wore a black sweater that seemed rather big for her and a red plaid skirt that reached just before her knee caps, along with black and white converse shoes and tall black socks. The other was a guy around the same age and his hair was mostly concealed by a grey slouch beanie with some of his hair poking out. He had brown hair from what I saw, a navel ring and angel bite lip piercings, wore a long black shirt with a turquoise fashion scarf, charcoal skinny jeans with a wallet chain dangling from it, and blue and black vans. He also had a scruffy face but a soul patch was already perfectly formed on his chin.

Lasalle said the girl was Amanda and the guy was Josh, both of them were the same as him along with many others. They lived with Lasalle somewhere in town, funny I've know the guy for months but never went to his place, and came out to help. Josh went off and came back with a chair and told me to sit in it and Amanda had a bag with medical equipment laid out on a bench near us. I saw syringes and bandages, nothing more. Lasalle said he would do this the safer way because the traditional way was rather dangerous and often lethal, with stories of some dying in the process. He knew I had kids and a husband and was recovering from a terrible accident and didn't want to cause me any more pain than what I was going through.

He had Josh hold me in place so I wouldn't squirm and had Amanda hold my head to one side; apparently she didn't know I was gay and had my face pressed into her breasts. Lasalle got one of the syringes and got closer to me, he noted he'd talk to me the entire time to keep my mind focused on what he was saying and not what he was doing. He moved his fingers along my neck until he found a vein. He said I would feel a sharp pain when the needle made initial contact with my body. Which I did, the second he put the needle into my neck I felt a very sharp pain run through my body then a burning sensation after a few seconds once he finished injecting me with the strange fluid that was in the syringe. After that I felt extremely light-headed and passed out.

When I woke up I found myself laying down on a cold surface, which turned out to be the floor. I looked around and saw Josh, Amanda, and Lasalle; they were crouched next to me. Amanda had her fingers to my neck until she noticed I was awake then retracted them immediately. I felt an itch in my neck and went to try and scratch it but Josh grabbed my hand right away and said the bandages would come off if I scratched my neck.

"You feeling okay?" Lasalle asked, with surprising look of concern in his face.

"Yeah, actually," I sat up, "that was a lot less painful than I thought."

"What did you think you would start seizing or something?" Amanda joked. I nodded and she began to laugh. Lasalle and Josh helped me stand up and steady me on my feet.

"Feel any different?" Josh asked.

"Not really surprisingly, guess you feel that way even after?"

"Typically yes, the changes are gradual and take a while to develop."

"I'll explain them to you on the way back to your house, I'll drive you. Granted you can stand up and talk I don't need you falling over. You need to rest," Lasalle noted sternly. I sighed and started to walk towards the exit then started to feel dizzy and nearly feel over but Lasalle caught me before my head became familiar with the floor. He helped me to the car and made sure I was inside before he got in. I asked him if he was going to really explain to me all the changes now or it was just an excuse to get away from his roommates. He laughed then said it was the latter of the two and he wanted to sleep. I laughed and said it was okay, I was still pretty tired myself and wanted to sleep but found myself in deep thought.

The entire ride back I couldn't believe what I had just done and it was irreversible. I had to tell Mikey otherwise if he found out on his own he'd never forgive me, or kill me. I sighed and stared out the window into the night. It had begun to ran, a light drizzle though; when I was a child my parents told me that whenever it rained Heaven was crying for someone that had just died. I still believed it because on many occasions people have died and it happened to rain a little while after or at the time of death. Though this was a drizzle, could it be over a person that had sinned too much and never repented? Wow, I couldn't believe I was thinking about religious stuff when I had more important things to ponder.

Weather really made no sense to me in the first place. I dropped the thought and had just stuck with admiring the light rain complimenting the starry night sky, making the view of stars seem as though I were underwater, even though I was in a car. A little while and I had started to shiver pretty violently, Lasalle must have noticed because he blasted the heat and said something about the changes already starting. I looked over to him and I saw great concern in his expression. I genuinely never saw him concerned until tonight, then again I never really saw him with much emotion until tonight. He sped up the car and was going well over the speed limit; luckily it was late out and few, if any, cops were in the area.

I was going to ask him why he was driving so fast but the expression on his face was enough of an answer for me. He was actually worried about me. Lasalle seemed so desperate to get me home as if my very life depended on it. Despite being rather cold and tired I felt just fine, then again I was new to all of this and I knew it wouldn't get much easier until all the changes happened. I guess the first change was improving my immune system or something and that was something I would be in love with. I always got sick and hated it so much! Or maybe it was weakening it, in which case I would probably die within days considering my immune system was already a piece of shit. Or I could be completely wrong and it was something else.

I heard Lasalle swearing under his breath and noticed the car was going faster and faster and rain got heavier and heavier. At this point I didn't care how tired I was, I was nearly scared out of my mind. Lasalle had never been like this before. I tightened my seatbelt to the belt where it hurt and put a death grip on my seat. I didn't make plans for dying that night and I was going to be sure of it. Though just as quickly as the car sped up, it slowed down. However the rain kept pounding away on the car and all around us. The car continued to slow until it finally stopped; we had made it back to my house in one piece. I saw Lasalle put the car in park, tip his back, and then released a huge sigh as if in relief. Before he left the car he threw on his hoodie and lifted the hood up; I followed suit, I didn't need Mikey to freak out. I was going to let myself out of the car but Lasalle was already at the door and opened.

He helped me from the car and to the front door; in the few seconds I was out of the relatively warm car I had gotten cold straight away. Lasalle told me to get inside and get to sleep then said "bye" and walked off to his car and drove away. I watched the car speed off into the pouring rain before I went inside. When I got inside I saw Mikey perched on the couch with a mug of coffee in his hand and blanket wrapped around him. He jumped and turned around when the door made a closing sound and smiled wide. I said "hello" and he came over to me and gave me a huge hug and wrapped the blanket around me when he felt my shivering.

I nearly began to ball my eyes out when he was hugging me. "What's wrong Frankie?" Mikey asked with concern on his voice.

My voice was shaking and I was a nervous wreck when I decided to tell him right then and after just getting him back. "Mikes…I…I lied…I didn't go to work to check on some people. I went with Lasalle to meet up with some of his friends and…and…"

"Frankie if you were going to hang out you didn't have to li…"

"For fuck's sake Mikey I wasn't hanging out…I…Lasalle…he's a vampire and well…fuck he made me on too."


	7. Chapter 7

Lilac Love

Chapter Seven

I Don't Love You

I fell to my knees and began to cry my eyes out. I knew I had ruined my life in that instant and didn't even expect Mikey to accept it at all. He hated me, I knew it and there was no questioning that. I didn't hear a sound from him for what seemed like minutes until I heard the first of his screams. They resounding through the room and nearly made my ears ring. Each one penetrating my heart making me feel guiltier and guiltier for my decision. I tried to not protest as I knew I deserved each and every blow that came at me.

"What the fuck Frank?!" Mikey roared. "Did you think I would be okay with this?! What the hell were you thinking?!"

"I thought it would…"

"What?! Make you cool?! What the fuck was going through your brain?! Did you even take into consideration that you had a family?! Kids?! A husband?! People you should be taking care of!"

"I did after I got my memories of you back!" I protested sheepishly. "When I chose this I had no idea that I had you or the kids…I tried to take my decision back but…"

"But what?! Your 'friend' seduced you into doing it?! Did he tell you that you'd both be together forever if you went through with it?!"

My anger built up when he said that. I never thought he would accuse me of having a sexual relationship with Lasalle, it utterly pissed me off. "No! That's not it at all!" I beamed in rage. I stood up and looked Mikey straight in the eye, rage building up inside me. I wanted to slap Mikey for even uttering those words, I had no clue what made him even think up those words. "No! That's not it at all!" the anger inside me was rising even more and I was about to hit him square across the face but told myself not to. The situation was already horrid.

"Then tell me what exactly 'it' is," he retorted, crossing his arms and staring right back at me.

I had to think back to what Lasalle finally said that convinced me to change my very being. At first he mentioned it was cool but passed it off as a joke because I knew he was suffering from something, probably from him being a vampire made him suffer. That or his roommates, either way I knew something was causing him agony. As I thought I didn't even take into consideration if Mikey would have even believed me. I was going to find out anyway. I figured out why I actually chose to become undead and it sent chills down my spine thinking back to how I got amnesia in the first place and I quivered in guilt a bit. I looked down at the floor in hate of myself as I answered my husband. "I…I did it because…because…because I thought I'd be able to protect myself and those I cared for better…" I held myself and continued to look down at the floor. There was no way Mikey would have relatively believed a word that just came from my mouth.

He didn't speak for several seconds, seemed like minutes though. All he did was _stare _at me. He had a look of confusion and sadness and rage. He sighed, "How in fuck am I, and the kids, supposed to live with you being who you are now? From what I've gathered you can't go out in sunlight which means they'll never be able to see you until dusk and that'll only be for two hours…"

I thought Mikey was right but Lasalle was out in the sun all the time so maybe he was wrong. My phone had gone off once Mikey had stopped talking and he told me to check it in an annoyed tone. Reluctantly I retrieved my phone from my pocket and looked at it. There was a message from Lasalle on it, I opened the message and it blatantly stated "you can go out in the sun for several hours without being covered." I was startled at the message and looked through the peephole on the door to see if Lasalle was outside, but nothing. "Um…well Mikey…uh…I can…" my eyes were wide, still amazed from how Lasalle timed that message perfectly, if he even knew I was in the middle of an argument. Mikey questioned how I knew and I showed him the message and he also got a shock of amazement. He went to the windows, probably to try and spot Lasalle, and went back to standing in front of me. When I looked at him his face had small, yet noticeable, tears rolling down his cheeks. I walked towards him and tried to give him a hug but…

He slapped me right across my face. I stepped back and held a hand to my cheek and stared at Mikey in awe. I half expected him to hit me but I expected it right after I told him I had turned not now when the argument was dying down however. Then I noticed him raise his fists at different heights and lunge toward me. I backed away only a little; at that point I figured he would try to kick my ass so I started to raise my own arms in defense but next thing I knew his face was buried in my chest. He had clenched my shirt with both hands and he was crying into it. I was very confused with Mikey's actions and couldn't gather how to handle the situation. Though my body took care of that for me and reacted. My arms wrapped around Mikey and held his fragile body close to me. I pressed my lips to his head and kissed it lightly and just left my chin on top of Mikey's head. I rubbed his back and tried to calm him, gently telling him that everything would be okay; granted I didn't know if that was true myself. I told him everything should stay mostly the same and I would still be his Frankie and that wouldn't, couldn't, be changed.

Mikey started to sink down in his sobbing and I sunk down with him, gently guiding him to the floor. I held him closer as he continued to cry into my shirt that was starting to get drenched from his tears. I didn't mind though, he was upset and it was my fault, he had every right to cry into my clothes. I continued to comfort him and reassure him that it would all work out and I would still be his and the kids'. Mikey asked again why I had chosen to change and I repeated my previous answer except more sincere this time.

Minutes passed and Mikey had fallen asleep from crying so much. I repositioned him so I could pick him up better and bring him upstairs. To my surprise Mikey was a lot easier to lift than I had expected, it took nearly no effort on my part to lift him. Was the first of the changes getting really strong or was I just naturally that strong? The former seemed more logical, and yet illogical at the same time. I shrugged it off and brought Mikey to our bedroom and laid him on the bed and carefully pulled the blankets over him before I got into the same bed as well. Once I pulled the covers over myself I felt something come close to me and a warm breath on the back of my neck. I turned my head and noticed Mikey was just snuggling up to me. I smiled; he was probably having a good dream and was glad he was. He wrapped his arms around my waist and my smile grew even bigger. Maybe he was still just happy I was back in his life, at least that's what I hoped. I shut my eyes and let sleep over come me.

The next morning

I awoke to the sun seeping through my window and gently lighting up the bedroom. I shifted a little and felt Mikey's arms still holding me to him. I rolled over so I would be facing him and he still had that beautiful smile on his face. The soft expression of happiness on his face made me smile in turn. He looked so peaceful in his sleep I just wanted to lay in bed with him all day and watch him sleep. If I really wanted to I could have, I had nothing planned today and Mikey probably didn't either. I placed a soft kiss on his lips and his smile grew as I did and I smiled back. Even though I knew he didn't see my smile I still did because he simply made me smile.

My smile didn't last long however. It faded to a frown the second I remembered what had happened last night. I was torn that I had to tell Mikey I was a vampire but at the same time I felt relieved since I told him straight away. Though the feeling of relief wasn't on the same level of the guilt I felt in my heart. I had hurt Mikey and I very well knew that. I hated I did that, I never wanted to but yet I did. My heart kept sinking lower and lower and my sadness grew with each drop.

Mikey stirred in his sleep and his smile faded to a frown. I didn't know whether if he was sad or that he was waking up. He stopped moving and his eyes fluttered open and made contact with mine. "Good morning beautiful," he said sleepily.

I smiled weakly, knowing he'd probably remember what happened last night and get mad at me all over again. "Morning."

Mikey gave me a look as if to say he was annoyed with something. He sighed, "Frankie if you're still worried about last night I do forgive you but I'm still just a little mad that you did this. I love you and nothing can change that." I looked down at the sheets, I still felt ashamed I had done this to myself and to him. "Frankie," he sighed and then gave me a quick kiss, "I love you, and I forgive you. We will have some issues but we can work them out. We can work this out Frank." He snuggled up to me and nuzzled into the crook of my neck, he mumbled something about not wanting to get out of bed and just wanting to lay with me all day. I blushed; I couldn't believe Mikey forgave just as quickly as he got mad at me. I felt extremely happy that he didn't yell at me or try to kill me when he woke up; it made me want to cry so bad but I thought so many tears had been shed already it was time for a break. I gave Mikey a big hug and told him I'd make him some breakfast. At first he pouted then ended up blushing, said something that I usually didn't do that.

I got out of bed and changed into a fresh set of clothes then went downstairs to the kitchen. Once in the kitchen I realized that I still didn't remember what Mikey liked to eat for breakfast. I knew he liked, **loved**, coffee but that was about it. I tried to figure out something to make him but nothing came to my mind. Then I realized, pancakes, everyone loves pancakes! I looked through the cabinets for a box of pancake mix and as if fate were on my side for once there was a huge box of pancake mix inside one of the cupboards. I grabbed it and read the directions on the side of the box. It was simple, really simple: just put it in a mixing container and add some water. Once I had the batter ready I looked for a skillet to cook the pancakes in. As I searched some more cabinets I found one fairly quickly. Except this one of those long, flat ones you could cook a bunch of things on at once. I decided to cook up a bunch of little pancakes so Mikey and I could share them.

After I had set a batch of pancakes on the large pan I went to start Mikey's coffee. I didn't really know what he liked but considering I wasn't in the house for a few months, and I didn't drink coffee that much in the first place, Mikey probably had his favorite somewhere. I remembered while looking for pancake mix I found one that had some stuff in it for coffee and tea so I went to it and retrieved the maker and a French vanilla blend of coffee. I got the coffee started then went to check the pancakes and flip them. The tops of them were a perfect golden brown and they smelled heavenly. I grabbed some plates and a couple eating utensils for us and set them on the table. I got a larger plate to put the cooked pancakes on and set them in between the two plates, put Mikey's coffee in a mug, and got myself a beer. I couldn't help it I loved the stuff and I needed it.

I called Mikey down for breakfast and he was in front of me within a few seconds. He was wearing a fresh set of clothing as well. Skinny jeans, an Anthrax band shirt, and some socks. Along with a fresh set of bandages on his arm but I set it aside. I guided him over to the table that had the food placed on it and he thanked me with a hug and kiss on my cheek. I smiled and went to sit across from him at the table. It took us a while to finish because we couldn't stop talking the entire time. Mikey kept telling me stories of the past few years to help and I still had tons of questions to ask him. He told me we had another family friend named Ray Toro. He had a lot of hair in the shape of an afro and it was fairly big, he was pretty funny sometimes and had a wife named Christa; though they didn't have any children but they were thinking about it. He also told me the Gerard and his husband Billie-Joe, the lead singer and guitarist of Green Day, were our kids' godparents which made me happy. I gathered that Gerard was a really good person from what Mikey had told me about him and granted I probably knew loads about Billie-Joe, but I couldn't remember them, he was probably a good person as well. Mikey also mentioned they had a daughter named Bandit that was four now and our twins, Cherry and Lily, were two and Miles was only a few months old. Our surrogate mother for our kids was Jamia Nestor and was a very close friend of ours and I used to date her before I finally came out as gay. Mikey told me she was angry about it at first but eventually overcame her feelings and we had stayed friends ever since.

Another family friend we had was Alicia Simmons and Mikey used to date her a few years ago. When he came out as bisexual and wanted to leave Alicia she was mad at first, like Jamia was with me, but eventually accepted Mikey for who he was. They have stayed very close friends ever since and before the accident I was apparently pretty close with her as well. Though what confused me a little was the fact that most of our conversation, or at least what Mikey was saying, was about his older brother Gerard. I got the fact that they were super close and everything but he just kept talking about him. It gave me the impression that they were "closer" than he wanted me to believe. Whatever the case I didn't care or mind, I had Mikey and my kids back and that was nearly good enough for me. I still wanted to learn about my past, the people I've met, befriended, made enemy's with and the places I've been and the things I've seen. I still couldn't help but think something was missing though, as if Mikey was keeping something from me and he wouldn't tell me what it was. I kept wanting to ask him if he was holding anything back but I didn't want to start a fight; I already started one fight and I didn't talk any pleasure from it one bit and didn't intend on starting another one. Though if something was being held back Mikey probably thought it was for a good reason.

After breakfast Mikey said we were going over to his parents' house for a while. I didn't groan or make a fuss, it was probably so Mikey didn't have to talk about them and I could just get memories of them back in a more direct way. He would have had Jamia and Alicia over but they were both out of town for a while. I went upstairs with Mikey so we could get ready to leave and while we were upstairs I heard my phone going off on the dresser next to where I slept last night. I walked over and noticed I had a missed text message from Lasalle.

"_At midnight I'll be stopping by for the first change you'll go through."_

Mikey asked what the message was about and I read it back to him. He seemed not too bothered by it and said he wanted to be there too so he knew I would be fine. I tried to tell him it wasn't up to me but he insisted and his voice had anger on the edge of it so I didn't want to press him any further. He then stated firmly that he wanted to be with me for every single change no matter what. I just agreed with him so I didn't make him angry again. I didn't like seeing him angry last night and I sure as hell didn't want to see him angry again so soon.


End file.
